Post by fullmetal on May 6, 2022 1:59:49 GMT -5
RP for UPRISING, Revolution (Season 2: Episode 8, May 14 2022), vs. Jumping Blonde Angels
BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE
"L is for Loop, L is for Loop, L is for Loop, L is for Loop, L is for--"
MATCH PROMO/INTERVIEW SECTION_
Fade in to the Interview Area, 3 chairs, small table, the UPRISING Tag Team belts on it, Gretchen Devereaux seated on the right, and the Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Jiritsu seated on the left.
GRETCHEN: "Hello, UPRISING faithful, I'm Gretchen Devereaux, here with the UPRISING Tag Team Champions, the BLACK CRUSADE. PyreBird & Jiritsu, this week, you're facing the Jumping Blonde Angels once more, defending the Tag Team Championship once again. Your first defense took place against them back in February, and this week--"
PB: "Let me stop you right there. There's nothing new to say, it would all just be the same things we've been talking about since BEFORE we won these belts. The Tag Team Division here in UPRISING is thinner than the broth that seeps from my braised venison, and peak physical specimens such as us cannot sustain our impressive physiques on mere broth alone." (J tilts their head towards PB quizzically) "It used to be so robust, so meaty, so filling, so many idealists with dreams of championship gold for us to Consume after we've Conquered them. We feasted, and our dessert to cap it all off was the UPRISING Tag Team Championship, the belts you see on this table in front of us."
GRETCHEN: "Back to food metaphors, I see."
J: "At this point, it is entirely appropriate. To borrow old sayings, our cup once runneth over, but now our cupboard is laid bare. Make no mistake, there are many tag teams IN the UPRISING Tag Team Division, but in our time here so far, we have feasted on them all, including the teams we lost to at the beginning. And now, in order to avoid famine, we were teased and baited with an international tasting menu, and after we got through it, our host told us that we would instead be eating plain white rice with boiled chicken, and tap water to drink, for the next 6 to 12 months instead. It is sustenance...but it is a disappointment."
GRETCHEN: "Sticking with the food, huh." (PB glares at her and she clears her throat) "*AHEM* You did mention before that you also wanted to go after the Trios Championship, so that does make sense."
PB: "There may be many of the same people there, but the matches would be more unique. This week is not a defense we are looking forward to as a challenge, this is a defense we are simply treating as an obligation. We don't have any interest in 'playing with our food', we aren't getting paid by the hour, or the move, we want to get through this as quickly as possible."
J: "The onus is not on us as champions--we can just leave and get counted out if we feel like--it is on the Angels as the challengers to slay us, the demons, for championship gold. There is hardly even a reason--"
Suddenly the screen distorts, static and old-television tracking hums can be heard and the view "clicks" to black, and then...
we fade in to the Interview Area, 3 chairs, small table, the UPRISING Tag Team belts on it, Gretchen Devereaux seated on the right, and the Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Kalinda Kriegsdottir seated on the left.
GRETCHEN: "Hello, UPRISING faithful, I'm Gretchen Devereaux, here with the UPRISING Tag Team Champions, the BLACK CRUSADE. PyreBird...and...Kalinda...uh...this week, you're facing the Jumping Blonde Angels once more, defending the Tag Team Championship once again. Your first defense took place against them...uh...back in February, and...uh...this week--"
PB: "Let me stop you right there. There's nothing new to say, it would all just be the same things we've been talking about since BEFORE we won these belts. The Tag Team Division here in UPRISING is thinner than the broth that seeps from my braised venison, and peak physical specimens such as us cannot sustain our impressive physiques on mere broth alone."
KALINDA: "It used to be so robust, so meaty, so filling, so many idealists with dreams of championship gold for us to 'Consume' after we've 'Conquered' them, to call back to our incredibly t-shirt-friendly catchphrase. We feasted, and our dessert to cap it all off was the UPRISING Tag Team Championship, the belts you see on this table in front of us."
GRETCHEN: "Back...uh...anybody else feel deja vu right now?"
KALINDA: (grinning) "I have absolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
Gretchen narrows her eyes in suspicion, but continues anyway.
GRETCHEN: "So, continuing the...uh...food theme...*ahem*...uh..."
PB: "At this point, it is entirely appropriate to borrow old sayings and lament that our cup once runneth over, but now our cupboard is laid bare. The UPRISING Tag Team Division may be plentiful enough to make a meal with, but in our time here so far, we have already feasted on them all, including the teams we lost to at the beginning. And now, in order to avoid famine, we were teased and baited with an international tasting menu, and after we got through it, our host told us that we would instead be eating--"
GRETCHEN: "...plain white rice with boiled chicken?"
PB: "YES, exactly! Did our Minion send you our talking points beforehand?"
GRETCHEN: "Uh...n-no." (A beat) "Are you SURE you don't feel deja vu right now?"
PB: (grinning) "I have absolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
Gretchen is shaking her head now, trying to clear cobwebs and make sense of what's going on, and the beginning stages of a panic attack are starting to form.
GRETCHEN: "Am I being Punk'd right now? You have to tell me if I'm being Punk'd, you know!"
PB & KALINDA simultaneously: (both grinning) "We have absolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
SUDDENLY once again the screen distorts, static and old-television tracking hums can be heard and the view "clicks" to black, and then...
we fade in to the Interview Area, 3 chairs, small table, the UPRISING Tag Team belts on it, Gretchen Devereaux seated on the right, and the Tag Team Champions, Kalinda Kriegsdottir & Jiritsu seated on the left.
Gretchen's hair suddenly looks completely unkempt and wild, as if she was comically scared in a cartoon, and her face is absolutely shell-shocked, a total thousand-yard stare as if she's seen the un-seeable.
GRETCHEN: (barely stringing actual words together) "I...uh...h..."
J: "Is there something the matter, Gretchen?"
KALINDA: (smirking) "Yes, I too am concerned -- you look like you've seen a ghost!"
GRETCHEN: (completely panicked) "WAS it a ghost?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!"
J: "I have asbolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
We begin to fade out--
GRETCHEN: "NO! NO fade out! WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, GODDAMMIT!!"
KALINDA: (grinning widely) "Why, Miss Devereaux, I do believe you've just broken your first Fourth Wall."
GRETCHEN: "TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!! I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL FILE A GODDAMN LAWSUIT AGAINST EVERYBODY FOR ALL KINDS OF DAMAGES!!"
We begin to fa--
GRETCHEN: "NO!!! TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING!!"
J: "What is happening is that congratulations are in order, Miss Devereaux. You have officially pierced the veil--well, you have pierced A veil, one of many that exist beyond human comprehension and understanding--for the first time, and managed to retain your sanity in the process...such as it is...and you have earned yourself the privilege of learning and reporting various inner workings of the BLACK CRUSADE. We will heal you, and you will be able to resume your duties, but with special enhancements."
GRETCHEN: (completely exhausted) "L...like what...?"
J: "The first of which, you have just experienced, the breaking of the Fourth Wall. You are no longer simply playing your role as if you are a character in a show, you are now fully aware of the show itself...at least, when you are around US. I cannot guarantee the same ability will be active when you are dealing with the others on the UPRISING roster, but you have at least earned yourself the ability to be aware of what is around us, when you are around us."
GRETCHEN: (still dumbstruck) "I...um...what...?"
KALINDA: (still smiling, less toothy, more proud) "For instance, you can see the little narrative beats and descriptions, right?"
GRETCHEN: "I...um...yes...? In my head, but also with my eyes...but also not actually seeing it? More like..."
KALINDA: "--Being completely and totally aware of it somehow, right?" (Gretchen nods) "There IS one last thing before we close this out. You've earned yourself the right to hear an Absolute Truth, directly from us, for the first time." (a beat, as she grins wider than what should be possible) "The catch is that you'll NEVER be able to communicate that Truth to anybody in any way whatsoever, either directly OR indirectly."
GRETCHEN: (a bit apprehensive) "Wh...what is that Truth...?"
PyreBird's voice can be heard offscreen.
PB: "The thing you've been trying to get out of us since before we even had our title match."
GRETCHEN: "YOU MEAN--"
Cut to black.
GRETCHEN: "WAIT--!"
END.
BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE
"L is for Loop, L is for Loop, L is for Loop, L is for Loop, L is for--"
MATCH PROMO/INTERVIEW SECTION_
Fade in to the Interview Area, 3 chairs, small table, the UPRISING Tag Team belts on it, Gretchen Devereaux seated on the right, and the Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Jiritsu seated on the left.
GRETCHEN: "Hello, UPRISING faithful, I'm Gretchen Devereaux, here with the UPRISING Tag Team Champions, the BLACK CRUSADE. PyreBird & Jiritsu, this week, you're facing the Jumping Blonde Angels once more, defending the Tag Team Championship once again. Your first defense took place against them back in February, and this week--"
PB: "Let me stop you right there. There's nothing new to say, it would all just be the same things we've been talking about since BEFORE we won these belts. The Tag Team Division here in UPRISING is thinner than the broth that seeps from my braised venison, and peak physical specimens such as us cannot sustain our impressive physiques on mere broth alone." (J tilts their head towards PB quizzically) "It used to be so robust, so meaty, so filling, so many idealists with dreams of championship gold for us to Consume after we've Conquered them. We feasted, and our dessert to cap it all off was the UPRISING Tag Team Championship, the belts you see on this table in front of us."
GRETCHEN: "Back to food metaphors, I see."
J: "At this point, it is entirely appropriate. To borrow old sayings, our cup once runneth over, but now our cupboard is laid bare. Make no mistake, there are many tag teams IN the UPRISING Tag Team Division, but in our time here so far, we have feasted on them all, including the teams we lost to at the beginning. And now, in order to avoid famine, we were teased and baited with an international tasting menu, and after we got through it, our host told us that we would instead be eating plain white rice with boiled chicken, and tap water to drink, for the next 6 to 12 months instead. It is sustenance...but it is a disappointment."
GRETCHEN: "Sticking with the food, huh." (PB glares at her and she clears her throat) "*AHEM* You did mention before that you also wanted to go after the Trios Championship, so that does make sense."
PB: "There may be many of the same people there, but the matches would be more unique. This week is not a defense we are looking forward to as a challenge, this is a defense we are simply treating as an obligation. We don't have any interest in 'playing with our food', we aren't getting paid by the hour, or the move, we want to get through this as quickly as possible."
J: "The onus is not on us as champions--we can just leave and get counted out if we feel like--it is on the Angels as the challengers to slay us, the demons, for championship gold. There is hardly even a reason--"
Suddenly the screen distorts, static and old-television tracking hums can be heard and the view "clicks" to black, and then...
we fade in to the Interview Area, 3 chairs, small table, the UPRISING Tag Team belts on it, Gretchen Devereaux seated on the right, and the Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Kalinda Kriegsdottir seated on the left.
GRETCHEN: "Hello, UPRISING faithful, I'm Gretchen Devereaux, here with the UPRISING Tag Team Champions, the BLACK CRUSADE. PyreBird...and...Kalinda...uh...this week, you're facing the Jumping Blonde Angels once more, defending the Tag Team Championship once again. Your first defense took place against them...uh...back in February, and...uh...this week--"
PB: "Let me stop you right there. There's nothing new to say, it would all just be the same things we've been talking about since BEFORE we won these belts. The Tag Team Division here in UPRISING is thinner than the broth that seeps from my braised venison, and peak physical specimens such as us cannot sustain our impressive physiques on mere broth alone."
KALINDA: "It used to be so robust, so meaty, so filling, so many idealists with dreams of championship gold for us to 'Consume' after we've 'Conquered' them, to call back to our incredibly t-shirt-friendly catchphrase. We feasted, and our dessert to cap it all off was the UPRISING Tag Team Championship, the belts you see on this table in front of us."
GRETCHEN: "Back...uh...anybody else feel deja vu right now?"
KALINDA: (grinning) "I have absolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
Gretchen narrows her eyes in suspicion, but continues anyway.
GRETCHEN: "So, continuing the...uh...food theme...*ahem*...uh..."
PB: "At this point, it is entirely appropriate to borrow old sayings and lament that our cup once runneth over, but now our cupboard is laid bare. The UPRISING Tag Team Division may be plentiful enough to make a meal with, but in our time here so far, we have already feasted on them all, including the teams we lost to at the beginning. And now, in order to avoid famine, we were teased and baited with an international tasting menu, and after we got through it, our host told us that we would instead be eating--"
GRETCHEN: "...plain white rice with boiled chicken?"
PB: "YES, exactly! Did our Minion send you our talking points beforehand?"
GRETCHEN: "Uh...n-no." (A beat) "Are you SURE you don't feel deja vu right now?"
PB: (grinning) "I have absolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
Gretchen is shaking her head now, trying to clear cobwebs and make sense of what's going on, and the beginning stages of a panic attack are starting to form.
GRETCHEN: "Am I being Punk'd right now? You have to tell me if I'm being Punk'd, you know!"
PB & KALINDA simultaneously: (both grinning) "We have absolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
SUDDENLY once again the screen distorts, static and old-television tracking hums can be heard and the view "clicks" to black, and then...
we fade in to the Interview Area, 3 chairs, small table, the UPRISING Tag Team belts on it, Gretchen Devereaux seated on the right, and the Tag Team Champions, Kalinda Kriegsdottir & Jiritsu seated on the left.
Gretchen's hair suddenly looks completely unkempt and wild, as if she was comically scared in a cartoon, and her face is absolutely shell-shocked, a total thousand-yard stare as if she's seen the un-seeable.
GRETCHEN: (barely stringing actual words together) "I...uh...h..."
J: "Is there something the matter, Gretchen?"
KALINDA: (smirking) "Yes, I too am concerned -- you look like you've seen a ghost!"
GRETCHEN: (completely panicked) "WAS it a ghost?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!"
J: "I have asbolutely no earthly idea what you mean, Gretchen."
We begin to fade out--
GRETCHEN: "NO! NO fade out! WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, GODDAMMIT!!"
KALINDA: (grinning widely) "Why, Miss Devereaux, I do believe you've just broken your first Fourth Wall."
GRETCHEN: "TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!! I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL FILE A GODDAMN LAWSUIT AGAINST EVERYBODY FOR ALL KINDS OF DAMAGES!!"
We begin to fa--
GRETCHEN: "NO!!! TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING!!"
J: "What is happening is that congratulations are in order, Miss Devereaux. You have officially pierced the veil--well, you have pierced A veil, one of many that exist beyond human comprehension and understanding--for the first time, and managed to retain your sanity in the process...such as it is...and you have earned yourself the privilege of learning and reporting various inner workings of the BLACK CRUSADE. We will heal you, and you will be able to resume your duties, but with special enhancements."
GRETCHEN: (completely exhausted) "L...like what...?"
J: "The first of which, you have just experienced, the breaking of the Fourth Wall. You are no longer simply playing your role as if you are a character in a show, you are now fully aware of the show itself...at least, when you are around US. I cannot guarantee the same ability will be active when you are dealing with the others on the UPRISING roster, but you have at least earned yourself the ability to be aware of what is around us, when you are around us."
GRETCHEN: (still dumbstruck) "I...um...what...?"
KALINDA: (still smiling, less toothy, more proud) "For instance, you can see the little narrative beats and descriptions, right?"
GRETCHEN: "I...um...yes...? In my head, but also with my eyes...but also not actually seeing it? More like..."
KALINDA: "--Being completely and totally aware of it somehow, right?" (Gretchen nods) "There IS one last thing before we close this out. You've earned yourself the right to hear an Absolute Truth, directly from us, for the first time." (a beat, as she grins wider than what should be possible) "The catch is that you'll NEVER be able to communicate that Truth to anybody in any way whatsoever, either directly OR indirectly."
GRETCHEN: (a bit apprehensive) "Wh...what is that Truth...?"
PyreBird's voice can be heard offscreen.
PB: "The thing you've been trying to get out of us since before we even had our title match."
GRETCHEN: "YOU MEAN--"
Cut to black.
GRETCHEN: "WAIT--!"
END.