Post by fullmetal on Feb 9, 2022 2:57:47 GMT -5
RP for UPRISING, Revolution (Season 2: Episode 5, February 12 2022), vs. Jumping Blonde Angels (Connie Craven & Zelda Fischer)
BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE
"D is for Defense (The First)"
INTERVIEW AREA________________
Fade in to an interview room, where a trio of reasonably comfortable office chairs are set up in the center of the shot.
To camera-left are two chairs, with the new UPRISING Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Jiritsu, seated cross-legged with the belts fastened and positioned on a small table closer to the camera. PyreBird has a big grin on her face, while Jiritsu's expression is of course obscured by their mask, but a trained micro-expression observer would be able to notice some Deadpool-esque shows of pleasure if they looked closely enough.
To camera-right, with some extra space between it and the other two chairs, is the third chair, with UPRISING interviewer Gretchen Devereaux sitting with a professional smile on her face.
A production assistant behind the camera counts down with their hand, and we begin.
GRETCHEN: "Hello, UPRISING fans, I'm Gretchen Devereaux and today I'm sitting down with the recently-crowned UPRISING Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Jiritsu, the Army Of Two of the Black Crusade. Thank you for joining me today."
JIRITSU: "It is our pleasure to be sitting here with you today as the Champions, Miss Devereaux." (J gestures towards the belts on the table.)
PYREBIRD: "Our EXTREME pleasure indeed, Gretchen." (PB's grin widens as she glances towards the belts.)
GRETCHEN: "Now, you were told beforehand that there were 3 topics I wanted to discuss with you two today. The first, is the question that's been on everybody's minds since you two WON the Tag Team Championship, and one we would ALL like a clear answer to..."
PB: "Yes, Gretchen, we WERE wearing the belts when we celebrated, but we made sure to clean them off thoroughly of all the champagne and sparkling grapefruit juice we drank. You can't even tell anything happened to the plates OR the leather!"
GRETCHEN: "No, that's not--"
J: "We are nothing, if not responsible caretakers of the primary manufactures of these championship belts."
GRETCHEN: "Primary...what?"
PB: "J is referring to the fact that these are the main belts, the 'hero' belts, I believe they'd be referred to for commercial photo and video shoots, the ones that get shown on TV and in photos."
GRETCHEN: "...Well, it's nice to know you're not...um...destroying them...?"
PB: "Now, what was the 2nd topic?"
GRETCHEN: "No, that wasn't--"
PB: "I KNOW, it's about LADERR, right? Where did LADERR THE UNSTABLE come from?"
GRETCHEN: "Well, no--I mean, we WOULD like to know, but--"
PB's grin gets wider and more mischievous, as we can hear a slight but audible giggle emit from J.
PB: "I'm just, how do Americans put it, 'yanking your chain', Gretchen."
A very long beat, as Gretchen composes herself.
GRETCHEN: "(AHEM) Well...as...I was about to ask... (AHEM) ...Given the NATURE of your championship win, everybody wants to know, did you plan this all together? Were you in fact intending to fight your teammate Kalinda in that championship match?"
PB: "I'm afraid I must confess, Gretchen--it IS true, we DID plan the whole thing."
GRETCHEN: (caught taken completely by surprise) "WH...like...FOR REAL? This is ACTUALLY HUGE!"
PB: "Indeed! J and I DID in fact plan on fighting Regan Voorhees in the championship match, 100%. And we did. And Kalinda was ALSO in the match. And we won! ALL according to plan!"
GRETCHEN: "N...n-no, I asked if you were going to fight KALINDA."
PB: "This tag team you are talking to right now, these 2 people, PyreBird and Jiritsu, myself and my teammate next to me, the Black Crusade, 100% planned on fighting and beating Swine Flew, and it went all according to said plan." (Her grin is insufferably wide at this point.)
GRETCHEN: "In that plan, was Kalinda Kreigsdottir PART of the Black Crusade side of that equation? Was she INVOLVED in that plan?"
PB: "She was! She was indeed involved!" (a beat) "In the match. As one half of Swine Flew, the team the Black Crusade beat for the UPRISING Tag Team Championship via the fall scored by us on Regan Voorhees, according to the plan executed by myself and Jiritsu." (Her face would tear if her grin got any wider.)
GRETCHEN: "...You're never going to come clean, are you?"
J: "We have no idea what you mean, Miss Devereaux; we are telling you quite plainly that PyreBird and myself did indeed plan on beating Swine Flew for the championship belts and that we did defeat Regan Voorhees as planned, and that Kalinda was indeed in the match as a member of Swine Flew. If you are misinterpreting our words, especially to fit some sort of...what was the word...ah yes, 'narrative', that you are trying to put forward, it is entirely your own fault."
Gretchen scowls, defeated again for the moment, but inwardly unbowed as she silently vows to herself that she WILL get to the bottom of that very obvious ploy someday, but for now, that day is not today.
PB: "You mentioned there were other topics you wanted to discuss?"
GRETCHEN: "(AHEM) INDEED." (Her voice is clipped, and she catches it and clears her throat again before continuing.) "NEXT, I wanted to ask you about the group's plans AFTER winning the belts, specifically the 'Freebird Rule' you were going to use for your defenses, and your intentions on ALSO going after the Trios Championship belts with your OTHER teammate CLIMAX."
PB: (Her grin finally softens into more regular, but still almost arrogant, smile.) "Go ahead, hon."
GRETCHEN: "For our viewers unfamiliar with the 'Freebird Rule', if a team has 3 or more people, and 2 of them win a Tag Team Championship, ANY 2 members of that team may legally defend the belts--unless of course the ruling authority forbids it...which doesn't seem to be the case here."
J: "That is correct."
GRETCHEN: "Could you give us any insight as to which 2 of you will be defending the belts most often, or even which 2 of you will be defending them this week on Revolution?"
J: "2 members of the Black Crusade will absolutely be defending these championship belts this week on Revolution."
GRETCHEN: "Can you tell us which 2? Will it be you and PyreBird? One of you and Kalinda? Kalinda and CLIMAX??"
PB: "You'll just have to wait and see, Gretchen..." (A beat.) "Okay, you waited long enough: It's us. J and I are doing it." (She grins again.)
GRETCHEN: "Fair enough. And you ALSO stated your intentions on going after the Trios Championship. Now, your teammate CLIMAX recently signed his 'active in-ring wrestler' contract, and you made clear your intentions that he would definitely be part of the trio going after the belts. Do you plan on sticking with the trio of you two and him, or are you ALSO going to 'Freebird' the Trios Division?"
PB: (grinning even wider) "We'll let you know THAT...AFTER we've won the Trios belts. But there will DEFINITELY be AT LEAST one Trios match where J, CLIMAX, and myself are the representatives of the Black Crusade standing in that UPRISING ring. We even came up with a name for our configuration!"
GRETCHEN: "You...have? Like, an ACTUAL name?"
J: "The Delta Variant."
GRETCHEN: (dumbstruck) "You mean, that name was SERIOUS? OFFICIAL?"
J: "Yes. Are you confused?"
GRETCHEN: "Well...I and many of our viewers thought you all were JOKING about that."
J: "With all due respect, Miss Devereaux: whenever we are joking, you will know. For example: Why did the chicken cross the road?"
GRETCHEN: "...um...why DID the chicken...cross the road?"
J: "Because it was December 26th and it was safe to do so again!" (Guffaws and slaps thigh) "Do you get it? Because it was safe again!"
GRETCHEN: "I'm afraid don't get it..."
PB leans in toward J and whispers in their ear.
J: "OHHHH, I see. I apologize, it is a 'regional' joke, that actually gets quite the laugh in Tokyo. You see, it is a joke about how Kentucky Fried Chicken is very popular in Japan on Christmas Day, December 25. It is not safe for chickens to be out and about until demand for fried chicken has settled back down to reasonable levels." (The mask makes a visible smiling motion.)
GRETCHEN: "Ohhhh, okay. I'm sure I probably would've laughed quite a bit at that if I were Japanese." (a professional smile) "(AHEM) So I guess that part is settled..." (More throat clearing.)
J: "Do you need throat medicine, Miss Devereaux?"
GRETCHEN: "No, I'm okay. (AHEM)" (A beat.) "SO, over to our final topic, speaking of your first championship defense, you'll be facing the recently-debuted Jumping Blonde Angels, Connie Craven and Zelda Fischer. They've endeared themselves to the UPRISING fans quite quickly, and they seem to have gotten their support going into this match against you both. So, for our viewers, what are your thoughts as you head into your title defense?"
PB & J briefly assess the situation to each other in a foreign language that can only best be described as "Elvish from Lord Of The Rings translated to Esperanto through Babelfish, but spelled backwards and pronounced upside-down" before turning back to Gretchen.
J: "The Jumping Blonde Angels seem to have very quickly inspired fans to cheer for them, as if they were heroes in an action comic, and this may very well be our first match where the crowd very specifically are cheering our opponents and booing us, as if we are villains!"
PB: "I mean...we ARE villains, DASTARDLY ones, in fact...but usually our opponents are somehow WORSE than we are in some way that causes the fans to cheer for US! Even when we completely CONQUERED Regan Voorhees and Kalinda was no longer obligated to her, the crowd was torn on whether to boo us or cheer us! But THIS time, there's no question about who gets booed, and who gets cheered!"
J: "But most importantly, we are not merely 'dastardly' villains, we are SUCCESSFUL villains. When we make an evil plan, we EXECUTE our evil plan, and we adapt to any 'spanners thrown in the gears' of the plan. OTHER villains in UPRISING merely prove themselves to be just nuisances, simply complaining when THEIR evil plans get spoiled, rather than adjusting and adapting, and ultimately succeeding. They make needlessly complex and complicated plans, with too much room for error. Meanwhile, OUR plans are simple, easy to execute properly, easy to adjust when things go, as some people say, 'pear-shaped'."
GRETCHEN: "WELL, in the interest of fully informing our viewers, sometimes your plans did fail."
PB: "Well, we're not going to sit around and say we DIDN'T really lose those matches, or complain and make excuses like OTHER members of the UPRISING locker room, but I'm going to be VERY clear, out of the FEW times we HAVE lost so far here in UPRISING, most of THOSE losses came from US miscalculating and miscommunicating, moreso than our OPPONENTS successfully executing a superior plan in a superior manner. We played with our food too much, and we paid for that. So we learn. Then we adapt. Then we WIN. And then we DEFEND these UPRISING Tag Team Championships."
J: "We have successfully CONQUERED. Now it is time for us to CONSUME our spoils of victory, and as long as the Black Crusade are the CHAMPIONS, we will CONTROL the Tag Team Division of UPRISING."
PB: (smiling widely) "Now, if there are no further questions, we're going to train and plan."
GRETCHEN: "That...uhhh...that's it for now! PyreBird, Jiritsu, thank you both for sitting here with me today, and good luck to you two on your championship defense on Revolution."
PB & J both shake Gretchen's hand, as we fade out while they stand up, retrieve their belts, and exit.
END.
BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE
"D is for Defense (The First)"
INTERVIEW AREA________________
Fade in to an interview room, where a trio of reasonably comfortable office chairs are set up in the center of the shot.
To camera-left are two chairs, with the new UPRISING Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Jiritsu, seated cross-legged with the belts fastened and positioned on a small table closer to the camera. PyreBird has a big grin on her face, while Jiritsu's expression is of course obscured by their mask, but a trained micro-expression observer would be able to notice some Deadpool-esque shows of pleasure if they looked closely enough.
To camera-right, with some extra space between it and the other two chairs, is the third chair, with UPRISING interviewer Gretchen Devereaux sitting with a professional smile on her face.
A production assistant behind the camera counts down with their hand, and we begin.
GRETCHEN: "Hello, UPRISING fans, I'm Gretchen Devereaux and today I'm sitting down with the recently-crowned UPRISING Tag Team Champions, PyreBird & Jiritsu, the Army Of Two of the Black Crusade. Thank you for joining me today."
JIRITSU: "It is our pleasure to be sitting here with you today as the Champions, Miss Devereaux." (J gestures towards the belts on the table.)
PYREBIRD: "Our EXTREME pleasure indeed, Gretchen." (PB's grin widens as she glances towards the belts.)
GRETCHEN: "Now, you were told beforehand that there were 3 topics I wanted to discuss with you two today. The first, is the question that's been on everybody's minds since you two WON the Tag Team Championship, and one we would ALL like a clear answer to..."
PB: "Yes, Gretchen, we WERE wearing the belts when we celebrated, but we made sure to clean them off thoroughly of all the champagne and sparkling grapefruit juice we drank. You can't even tell anything happened to the plates OR the leather!"
GRETCHEN: "No, that's not--"
J: "We are nothing, if not responsible caretakers of the primary manufactures of these championship belts."
GRETCHEN: "Primary...what?"
PB: "J is referring to the fact that these are the main belts, the 'hero' belts, I believe they'd be referred to for commercial photo and video shoots, the ones that get shown on TV and in photos."
GRETCHEN: "...Well, it's nice to know you're not...um...destroying them...?"
PB: "Now, what was the 2nd topic?"
GRETCHEN: "No, that wasn't--"
PB: "I KNOW, it's about LADERR, right? Where did LADERR THE UNSTABLE come from?"
GRETCHEN: "Well, no--I mean, we WOULD like to know, but--"
PB's grin gets wider and more mischievous, as we can hear a slight but audible giggle emit from J.
PB: "I'm just, how do Americans put it, 'yanking your chain', Gretchen."
A very long beat, as Gretchen composes herself.
GRETCHEN: "(AHEM) Well...as...I was about to ask... (AHEM) ...Given the NATURE of your championship win, everybody wants to know, did you plan this all together? Were you in fact intending to fight your teammate Kalinda in that championship match?"
PB: "I'm afraid I must confess, Gretchen--it IS true, we DID plan the whole thing."
GRETCHEN: (caught taken completely by surprise) "WH...like...FOR REAL? This is ACTUALLY HUGE!"
PB: "Indeed! J and I DID in fact plan on fighting Regan Voorhees in the championship match, 100%. And we did. And Kalinda was ALSO in the match. And we won! ALL according to plan!"
GRETCHEN: "N...n-no, I asked if you were going to fight KALINDA."
PB: "This tag team you are talking to right now, these 2 people, PyreBird and Jiritsu, myself and my teammate next to me, the Black Crusade, 100% planned on fighting and beating Swine Flew, and it went all according to said plan." (Her grin is insufferably wide at this point.)
GRETCHEN: "In that plan, was Kalinda Kreigsdottir PART of the Black Crusade side of that equation? Was she INVOLVED in that plan?"
PB: "She was! She was indeed involved!" (a beat) "In the match. As one half of Swine Flew, the team the Black Crusade beat for the UPRISING Tag Team Championship via the fall scored by us on Regan Voorhees, according to the plan executed by myself and Jiritsu." (Her face would tear if her grin got any wider.)
GRETCHEN: "...You're never going to come clean, are you?"
J: "We have no idea what you mean, Miss Devereaux; we are telling you quite plainly that PyreBird and myself did indeed plan on beating Swine Flew for the championship belts and that we did defeat Regan Voorhees as planned, and that Kalinda was indeed in the match as a member of Swine Flew. If you are misinterpreting our words, especially to fit some sort of...what was the word...ah yes, 'narrative', that you are trying to put forward, it is entirely your own fault."
Gretchen scowls, defeated again for the moment, but inwardly unbowed as she silently vows to herself that she WILL get to the bottom of that very obvious ploy someday, but for now, that day is not today.
PB: "You mentioned there were other topics you wanted to discuss?"
GRETCHEN: "(AHEM) INDEED." (Her voice is clipped, and she catches it and clears her throat again before continuing.) "NEXT, I wanted to ask you about the group's plans AFTER winning the belts, specifically the 'Freebird Rule' you were going to use for your defenses, and your intentions on ALSO going after the Trios Championship belts with your OTHER teammate CLIMAX."
PB: (Her grin finally softens into more regular, but still almost arrogant, smile.) "Go ahead, hon."
GRETCHEN: "For our viewers unfamiliar with the 'Freebird Rule', if a team has 3 or more people, and 2 of them win a Tag Team Championship, ANY 2 members of that team may legally defend the belts--unless of course the ruling authority forbids it...which doesn't seem to be the case here."
J: "That is correct."
GRETCHEN: "Could you give us any insight as to which 2 of you will be defending the belts most often, or even which 2 of you will be defending them this week on Revolution?"
J: "2 members of the Black Crusade will absolutely be defending these championship belts this week on Revolution."
GRETCHEN: "Can you tell us which 2? Will it be you and PyreBird? One of you and Kalinda? Kalinda and CLIMAX??"
PB: "You'll just have to wait and see, Gretchen..." (A beat.) "Okay, you waited long enough: It's us. J and I are doing it." (She grins again.)
GRETCHEN: "Fair enough. And you ALSO stated your intentions on going after the Trios Championship. Now, your teammate CLIMAX recently signed his 'active in-ring wrestler' contract, and you made clear your intentions that he would definitely be part of the trio going after the belts. Do you plan on sticking with the trio of you two and him, or are you ALSO going to 'Freebird' the Trios Division?"
PB: (grinning even wider) "We'll let you know THAT...AFTER we've won the Trios belts. But there will DEFINITELY be AT LEAST one Trios match where J, CLIMAX, and myself are the representatives of the Black Crusade standing in that UPRISING ring. We even came up with a name for our configuration!"
GRETCHEN: "You...have? Like, an ACTUAL name?"
J: "The Delta Variant."
GRETCHEN: (dumbstruck) "You mean, that name was SERIOUS? OFFICIAL?"
J: "Yes. Are you confused?"
GRETCHEN: "Well...I and many of our viewers thought you all were JOKING about that."
J: "With all due respect, Miss Devereaux: whenever we are joking, you will know. For example: Why did the chicken cross the road?"
GRETCHEN: "...um...why DID the chicken...cross the road?"
J: "Because it was December 26th and it was safe to do so again!" (Guffaws and slaps thigh) "Do you get it? Because it was safe again!"
GRETCHEN: "I'm afraid don't get it..."
PB leans in toward J and whispers in their ear.
J: "OHHHH, I see. I apologize, it is a 'regional' joke, that actually gets quite the laugh in Tokyo. You see, it is a joke about how Kentucky Fried Chicken is very popular in Japan on Christmas Day, December 25. It is not safe for chickens to be out and about until demand for fried chicken has settled back down to reasonable levels." (The mask makes a visible smiling motion.)
GRETCHEN: "Ohhhh, okay. I'm sure I probably would've laughed quite a bit at that if I were Japanese." (a professional smile) "(AHEM) So I guess that part is settled..." (More throat clearing.)
J: "Do you need throat medicine, Miss Devereaux?"
GRETCHEN: "No, I'm okay. (AHEM)" (A beat.) "SO, over to our final topic, speaking of your first championship defense, you'll be facing the recently-debuted Jumping Blonde Angels, Connie Craven and Zelda Fischer. They've endeared themselves to the UPRISING fans quite quickly, and they seem to have gotten their support going into this match against you both. So, for our viewers, what are your thoughts as you head into your title defense?"
PB & J briefly assess the situation to each other in a foreign language that can only best be described as "Elvish from Lord Of The Rings translated to Esperanto through Babelfish, but spelled backwards and pronounced upside-down" before turning back to Gretchen.
J: "The Jumping Blonde Angels seem to have very quickly inspired fans to cheer for them, as if they were heroes in an action comic, and this may very well be our first match where the crowd very specifically are cheering our opponents and booing us, as if we are villains!"
PB: "I mean...we ARE villains, DASTARDLY ones, in fact...but usually our opponents are somehow WORSE than we are in some way that causes the fans to cheer for US! Even when we completely CONQUERED Regan Voorhees and Kalinda was no longer obligated to her, the crowd was torn on whether to boo us or cheer us! But THIS time, there's no question about who gets booed, and who gets cheered!"
J: "But most importantly, we are not merely 'dastardly' villains, we are SUCCESSFUL villains. When we make an evil plan, we EXECUTE our evil plan, and we adapt to any 'spanners thrown in the gears' of the plan. OTHER villains in UPRISING merely prove themselves to be just nuisances, simply complaining when THEIR evil plans get spoiled, rather than adjusting and adapting, and ultimately succeeding. They make needlessly complex and complicated plans, with too much room for error. Meanwhile, OUR plans are simple, easy to execute properly, easy to adjust when things go, as some people say, 'pear-shaped'."
GRETCHEN: "WELL, in the interest of fully informing our viewers, sometimes your plans did fail."
PB: "Well, we're not going to sit around and say we DIDN'T really lose those matches, or complain and make excuses like OTHER members of the UPRISING locker room, but I'm going to be VERY clear, out of the FEW times we HAVE lost so far here in UPRISING, most of THOSE losses came from US miscalculating and miscommunicating, moreso than our OPPONENTS successfully executing a superior plan in a superior manner. We played with our food too much, and we paid for that. So we learn. Then we adapt. Then we WIN. And then we DEFEND these UPRISING Tag Team Championships."
J: "We have successfully CONQUERED. Now it is time for us to CONSUME our spoils of victory, and as long as the Black Crusade are the CHAMPIONS, we will CONTROL the Tag Team Division of UPRISING."
PB: (smiling widely) "Now, if there are no further questions, we're going to train and plan."
GRETCHEN: "That...uhhh...that's it for now! PyreBird, Jiritsu, thank you both for sitting here with me today, and good luck to you two on your championship defense on Revolution."
PB & J both shake Gretchen's hand, as we fade out while they stand up, retrieve their belts, and exit.
END.