Post by J on Jun 10, 2021 12:12:32 GMT -5
//Off Camera//
“Edutament”
Nico Ludovico Pazzini had been on cloud nine since REVOLUTION 12, he had shown this bunch of clowns just who was DA BOSS and not just of TRINACRIA but anyone who stepped up to him. Sure the trio of himself Vincenzo Riina and Ricky Rhodes had hit a few speed bumps on their way but last show, they showed everyone just who was calling the shots. Especially that big lug ENIGMA, the brute who thought he could make jokes at Nico Pazzini’s expense and get away with it, forgetaboutit! It may have taken him a moment but in the end Enigma too learned what the whole world should know by now: P.A.W aka Pazzinis Always Win..well in the end at least, but it still had a nice ring to it. Nico smiled to himself whenever he thought of it. Who the fuck dared to say he didn’t have the brains and the balls of the family? Nobody, not to his face at least.
“Did you see it Auntie Izzy? Did you see it, did you see the show, see what I did!” He was suddenly like a little kid again, wanting to get this praise before heading back to the hotel they all lived in along with the most of the UPRISING roster, chillin, working on his tan and all he figured giving a call to his favourite aunt Isabella Pazzini all the way in Sicily was just what he needed. He was listening to her respond. “Yeah, I know. Took that big son of a bitch OUT! Real gangsta style like!” A moment of silence. “Yeah sorry, out of line just got excited about being part of the family business, won’t let any of these fools diss us yaknow?” He nodded along, wetting his lips a touch. “Yeah, I know. I know. Vinnie is here for that but I got this Auntie-Iz I got it. Trust me, that americano ain’t telling me what to do, Ricky, Jackson, motherfuckin’ Joe Biden himself can try to come boss me around and I’ll tell him to stick his presidency up his--” “No, not needend, I know but yeah Vincenzo choked the big fuck but he did it with MY chain, Ricky might have kicked him in the head and all but without me to lure that bastardo in, we would not have won. So when I’m telling you I got this, and this match at SOLSTICE? Ain’t no thang but a chicken wing, trust me.”
Few more moments of listening in and nodding along. “You worry too much Auntie, I got everything under control here. I have Vincenzo watching over Ricky like a goddamn hawk. He won’t even sneeze without me knowing about it. This match between us and the Church Of 7th Circle? Forgetaboutit the Pope will praise us for doing a deed of mercy this Saturday, ciao Iz, my best to Grandpa B, Da real OG, we’ll bring those Trios titles over before you know it.” Flipping his phone shut Nico felt like he was the king ot the world, so when he opened the door to the hotel room they used as base of operations he could not have been any happier.
***
NICO PAZZINI
Well if isn’t my two favourite goombah’s in the world, my partners in crime and future co-trios champions!
He gestures towards Vincenzo Riina who sat by the table reading a newspaper, at least Nico assumed it was Vincenzo behind he paper, silent and motionless as usual.
NICO PAZZINI
Tweedle Bull..
He then gestures towards Ricky Rhodes who was lounging it out on the couch with a loud and obnoxiously colourful hawaiian shirt. Along with equally horrible looking slacks.
NICO PAZINI
..and Tweedle Dull, how you doin’?
RICKY RHODES
AHH SHOVE IT UP YER ASS YOU FANOOK!
This, stopped Nico’s good mood, he looked towards the couch.
NICO PAZZINI
What the fuck was that?!
RICKY RHODES
What was what? You came this stupid outta your muddas twat or did you have to take some kind of special course for retards to get where you are at?
Pazzini could not believe his ears, this all seemed like a bad fever dream. He stomps over to the couch and looks at Ricky who lounges there his hair matted from the heat, that ugly shirt unbuttoned showing off a t-shirt glued to him because of the heat and humidity supposedly..Air condition must be busted as per usual.
NICO PAZZINI
What the fuck Rick, what are you doing?! That’s not a way to talk to me!
Rhodes chuckled at him gesturing at a chair next to the couch.
RICKY RHODES
Why don’t you sit ya dumb ass down before you have a panick attack. You were out, Vinnie over there is educating himself about world events so I figured I might as well indulge myself with a little something too. Ya know, studying and I suppose this is pretty entertaining and educational this could be classed as edutainment of sorts, right?
Pazzini was so shocked he slumped down on the chair shaking his head.
NICO PAZZINI
You are off your coconut for sure, what the hell are you watching anywa--
He stops mid sentence and bellows out.
NICO PAZZINI
A FANABLA YOU ARE WATCHING THE SOPRANOS?! TURN THAT SHIT OFF RICK!
RICKY RHODES
OOOH! You know they say this is the greatest show ever on da TV and I gotta admit, there is something to it. Tony Soprano is a pretty multilayered character deep down and I find his therapy sessions with Dr. Melfi knda like the glue that keeps this shitshow of a life of his going. David Chase, what a formidable genius, madonna mia!
Pazzini jumps out of the chair in a combination of panic, pure adrenaline and anger.
NICO PAZZINI
So you are trying to tell me that while I was gone handling some important business in preparation for our match at SOLSTICE, you have been sitting here binge watching this scripted, pretentious hollywood shit?!
RICKY RHODES
Oh don’t get me started on the writing! Brilliant, maybe I’ll take some notes so that next time we visit the old country I can have some fluent conversations with Bonnano and the rest of the familia.
NICO PAZZINI
What “old country” You aren’t Sicilian, you aren’t even italian, you are an American! FROM CALIFORNIA!
Rhodes squints at him.
RICKY RHODES
Nicolo, you are lucky that we are family and I love you like a brother because otherwise I’d have you whacked.
NICO PAZZINI
We aren’t family!
RICKY RHODES
Pretty close, I mean if I ask your aunt to marry me she’ll say yes and that’ll make us..
NICO PAZZINI
NONONONONO! DON’T YOU FUCKIN DARE! AND YOU!~
Pazzini turns to Riina (well the newspaper Riina was behind to be precise)
NICO PAZZINI
Why are you letting him watch this shit? Sopranos and not even the Godfather? Cazzo Vincenzo!
Rhodes pipes in on this exchange.
RICKY RHODES
Yeah, I know all about that already, Lewis Brazi sleeps with the fishes and all that a sicilian message, kinda like the one we sent through Enigma on Revolution, right?
Pazzini could not be any more red from his face if he tried, the beat red face was huffin’ and puffin. Poor Nico looked like he was about to have an aneurysm as he his arms flail in frustration.
NICO PAZZINI
LUCA, LUCA BRASI! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THAT Besides you can’t expect to throw around words and expressions you learn from movies and shows and expecting to be part of a culture and heritage, forgetabout it!
Rhodes sits up on the couch looking at Nico.
RICKY RHODES
Wait a minute, are you...hold the fucking phone are YOU accusing me of cultural appropriation? YOU, Nico Pazzini the walking talking poster child of white urban ghetto youth already in to your 30s? That’s fucking rich.
Rhodes let out a hyena-like cackle hugging his sides.
NICO PAZZINI
Not funny you rat bastard!
Rhodes manages to wheeze out between his laughter.
RICKY RHODES
Rat? Wanna... you wanna frisk me for a fakin’ wire now AHAHAHAHAHA!
Pazzini glares at Vincenzo’s direction in frustration, throwing a thumb towards the cackling Rhodes.
NICO PAZZINI
Dis fakin’ guy man..I’m about to murder him.
He walks up to the fridge, grabs a beer and twists it open gulping it down in few glugs while Rhodes gets over his laughing fit, Nico watches the Santa Clara native catching his breath wiping up his eyes.
RICKY RHODES
I’m sorry Nick, I’m sorry..look how about as a peace offering, we all three go out for a dinner, my treat?
Pazzini arches a brow.
NICO PAZZINI
Your treat? Rick, you never voluntarily offer to pay for anything.
Rhodes gets up to his feet, fixes his shirt, swipes at his slacks.
RICKY RHODES
Yeah, sure. My treat for insulting you, your heritage and your family. Come on it’ll be fun, I know this great little italian place, we can go over for some gabagool, sfogliatella, prosciutto and some real fakin' pasta too, we could call it a sit down..shame we don’t have any of your auntie’s pasta sauce handy with us to make you feel at home.
Without a warning Nico grabs a bat that was leaning up against the kitchenette cabinet and charges at Ricky
NICO PAZZINI
Don’t you mock my aunties pasta sauce you muddafucka I’ll kill you!
He darts after Ricky swinging wildly, Ricky manages to stay few steps ahead of his attacker, when the game turns dangerous around the table Vincenzo was sitting with his paper, the Corleone native sticks one of his tree trunk like legs out tripping Nico to the floor before planting his foot firmly on the bat. Nico roars and yanks at the bat but it wasn’t going anywhere.
NICO PAZZINI
Give me my bat Vinnie, I’ll crack his coconut open like a damn melon!
Riina folds his newspaper. Takes off his sunglasses and just looks at Nico, without speaking a single word. Nico loosens his grip from the bat, wobbling back holding up his hands.
NICO PAZZINI
Alright, it was a joke, we were just kidding..right Rick?
Riina turns his head over towards Rhodes who nods.
RICKY RHODES
Forgetaboutit!
Pazzini has to restrain himself, he watches Riina bend down to pick up the bat, laying it on top of his newspaper and standing up. The big countryboy that started his career in the Pazzini family as a enforcer then graduated to being one of the most trusted bodyguards and handpicked problem solver for Isabella Pazzini eyes at the two smaller men in turns. Slowly, carefully the two men walk up to the table and extend their hands for a shake, before they get a chance to pull those hands away Riina lays his own meaty palm on top of them and nodded.
Once again, there was peace within the ranks of TRINACRIA.