Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2021 8:09:30 GMT -5
Multiuniversal Title (oncam)
We open up to a view of “Old School Cool” Don Tirri lounging around on his backporch, with a cigarette in one hand and some sort of a shaker on the other. The big finn is dressed casual in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt belonging to his own merchandise, while generally looking relaxed.
“So. Revolution 6 came and went and I did what I promised, I beat Matt Stone. Not the most prestigious rebound from a big title loss, but fuck it, I’ll take it. Gives me a measure of momentum going into my next match and boy howdy, this one is gonna be a doozy.”
Tirri takes a few puffs from his cigarette, letting the smoke billow out on the nippy winter weather before continuing.
“Anyone who has paid any attention for the last month or so knows that the next time I step into an UPRISING ring… I’m challenging for the SplatTV Multiuniversal title, going against a guy who is both my complete opposite AND disturbingly similar to me. Lash Donohue. The suicidal kid from 1Dub who nearly got himself killed winning the belt from Morgan Payne. We’ve been bantering back and forth in twitter for weeks so the battle lines are already more or less drawn in the sand. But despite all that bantering, I wanted to do this my way. See, I am a verbose guy who likes to talk. And no matter how hard I try I just can’t condense my thoughts and feelings to 280 characters. While twitter is good to pass the time and hype up a show, when it comes to talking trash, microblogging just doesn’t cut it.”
Tirri stands up and stretches, giving a quick chuckle before continuing.
“Microblogging. Hell, there’s a word that I don’t think anyone even uses anymore. But that’s how the whole deal was sold to me a decade ago. Anyway, I’m getting off track here. Point is Lashie-O, even if SplatTV would prefer things to be done on a platform like Twitter, I like doing things my way and so here we are.
Now, I mentioned earlier how you and I are both different and similar. Let me elaborate: You represent a lot of things I am not. You are young and obnoxious. Dress in loud clothing. Prefer hammerlocks to hammerpunches and aren’t shy to throw caution to the wind to win. You meme around in twitter like it was 4chan and throw silly gifs on peoples faces. While I am old for a wrestler. Irritating and grating. Dress in black. Never trade a headbutt for a headlock or recklessly put my career on the line when not needed. I prefer verbal jabs to memes and only gif when I feel lazy. We are almost complete opposites. But there are similarities. More specifically Lashie-O, you remind me a LOT of myself when I was your age. I was brash to a point of being a douche-nozzle. Loved getting onto peoples faces and being a real stinking turd to get a rise out of them. And just like you, I had a world of potential in the ring. But my attitude held me back for years and years.”
The big man starts walking down his backyard, talking as he paces the frosty lawn.
“And that Lashie-O is something you don’t seem to get. You are way too confrontational. Try to be way too clever for your own good. Unless you get a thorough attitude adjustment, you’ll end up just like me. A bitter asshole who never realized his potential. And yes I know you got belts out the ass but having peaked in your early 20’s isn’t something worth mentioning either. Even if you do what you said you would and go out in a blaze of glory in your mid-twenties. Which if you ask me, is just a stupid as hell claim to make. You’ve pedaled and backpedaled like a dutchman in a storm whenever I’ve managed to jab you at a spot you didn’t expect and right now Lashie-O? Right now I don’t even know which part of your presentation is just schtick and which is true. Are you a masochist looking to get off on pain? A death seeker looking to Cobain yourself into historybooks? Or just a messed up kid in a sea of messed up kids throwing everything and anything onto the wall in the hopes of something sticking.
Don’t get me wrong Lashie-O, it’s okay to still be trying to find yourself when you’re in your early twenties. Hell, most people still are. But what separates you from most people is the fact that you’re in the publics eye non-stop. Everything you say and do will be seen and judged by your peers, your superiors and your audience. And what you are presenting is an image of a flighty youngster unsure of what or who he is. Sure you put up a brave front, brag with almost-credible bluster. But I can see right through you. Hell, you admitted it yourself. “You have seen basically my joker card alone, and you are hedging your bets offa it” was the quote I believe. Bu that’s where you’re mistaken Lashie-O. I’m not. I see beyond the veil. I see deeper than the surface. And while you ARE undoubtedly a great inring-perfomer as proven by the MU title on your waist… You’re still an inexperienced kid who’s managed to ride out sheer potential and stubborn tenacity to success. But that ends in Revolution 7”
Tirri stops and pulls something out of the ground. It’s a ladder. He sets its up in a particular way and leans against it.
“Experience is something you can’t buy or be born with Lashie-O. It’s something you can only learn over years and years. You got all the tools needed to be a major megastar in this business. But it will take years and years and a lot of falling flat on your ass for you to learn to utilize them to their full extent. That is my trump card in this match. This match that favors you in so many ways. You are coming in as the Champion, riding high on momentum from your win over Morgan. The matchtype profits those who are quick on their feet and can bounce around with agility. So if I was the type who bets on his own matches, I’d probably be hedging my bets by putting my money on you. Probably. But see the thing is Lashie-O… This ain’t my first Rodeo.”
The Big Finn makes his way up the ladder, sitting down crosslegged on the top. It only took him a few steps to get to the top due to his height and once he adjusts himself to a comfortable position, he points behind him. Plastered on a wall is a picture of a younger Tirri perched on top of a ladder with a golden titlebelt on each hand. Yes, that picture. The view lingers on it for a while before returning to Tirri who had lit up a new cigarette and let it hang loosely from the corner of his mouth.
“That? That right there is me. Sure, that picture was taken long ago in a place far from here. But it’s still me. I’m not a stranger to ladders. And while I’ve spent most of my life riding fast on the highway to hell, this time the Stairway to Heaven is my path. See Lashie-O, you are too young to truly appreciate what the Multiuniversal title represents. The opportunities and the responsibilities. Back in the day, when wrestling was men in trunks beating the crap out of each other with the crowd popping like crazy for something like a dropkick… There was a title like the MU title. A title that was considered the greatest prize in all of professional wrestling. A true world title. A title that the champion traveled around the globe to defend. To take on deserving challengers from promotion to promotion. And the man who carried that belt was not just the face of his home territory. Or just the company he represented. No. He was the face of the entire business. Traveling from Memphis to Dallas to Minnesota to Calgary to Edmonton to Mexico City to Los Angeles to Tokyo to Beijing to Moscow to Berlin to London to Paris to New York and all the way back to Memphis. Representing the business, the company, his home territory and in some cases even his country.
And that is the potential that the Multiuniversal title holds. To be recognized as the true top prize in this business. A prize that defines not just it’s holder but the places it’s been defended. The Multiuniversal title has the potential to be THE main attraction. The kinda championship that once defended in a territory, that territory will forever remember the day the best in the world came to test his mettle. And that is why I will take the belt from you. Because you aren’t the man to fully realize the potential that championship holds. You are talented and charismatic. But you lack the experience and the business sense to truly elevate the SplatTV Multiuniversal title to a level it deserves to be in. Don’t get me wrong, you have the tools for it. So maybe some day. Once you’ve gotten more years and more life experience under your belt you’ll be ready to pick up where you left off at Revolution 7 on March 6th. But as you are, the belt will suffer as long as it remains on your waist”
Tirri stands up on the ladder, mimicking the pose on the image behind him for a moment before sitting back down.
“I have the tools I need to win Lashie-O. I am bigger than you. I am stronger than you. Your hope of victory lies in hitting and running. But that strategy won’t be enough. I will inevitably stop you. I will inevitably grab you, ground you and pound you. You get off on pain, that much has been made painfully obvious with the dozens of times you’ve thrown the “hello hello hello”-gif at my face. But there is such thing as too much of a good thing. So eventually you will go down and STAY down. Hell, judging by your sheer stubbornness you showed in the match with Payne.. I might have to pound ya till your dear disco darling won’t even recognize you. And I sincerely hope you understand whats good for you and yield before I have to do something irreversible. I tweeted that I have to beat you for the belt to save Mrs. Donohue from a closed casket funeral… and now I’m starting to wonder if putting you in one is the only way to keep you down.
I guess I’ll find out. Bottom line is Lashie-O, you’re coming to my yard on March 6th. You won the belt on your home turf with OneDub. Now you’re riding into unknown territory. Reno is my home. The Silver State Ballroom is my fortress. UPRISING is my domain. And the ring that exists in the middle of all those? That is where I lay down the law. Only one man has beat me here Lashie-O, and when I say you are not on the level of Luther Thunder… I am not selling you short. That is just a fact of life that would be proven ten times outta ten should you test it against him. But he is an absent master. Seated in his Ivory Tower ruling over the Revolution. While I am the sheriff. I am the judge. The Jury. The executioner. And you Lash Donohue, are trespassing.”
Taking a few deep drags from the cigarette, Tirri leans forward, precariously balancing himself on the ladder as he launches onto the final part of his promo.
“Once the dust settles at Revolution 7 on March 6th… SplatTV will have a new face to plaster on their posters. The Multiuniversal title will have a champion who has the ability to take the title to places it has never reached before. Lash Donohue, at Revolution 7 your reign will end. And like Icarus who flew too close to the sun, you will plummet from your heights. You will be consumed by your hubris and find yourself grounded. Lash Donohue.. My name is Don Tirri. And I will climb the Stairway to Heaven and claim that title. And in the end? I will look down on you, offer my hand for a shake and say four words that you should take to heart”
He extends his hand to the camera while using his left to flick the cigarette at the lens and delivers the last line with a confident grin on his face.
“Thank you, come again.”
We open up to a view of “Old School Cool” Don Tirri lounging around on his backporch, with a cigarette in one hand and some sort of a shaker on the other. The big finn is dressed casual in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt belonging to his own merchandise, while generally looking relaxed.
“So. Revolution 6 came and went and I did what I promised, I beat Matt Stone. Not the most prestigious rebound from a big title loss, but fuck it, I’ll take it. Gives me a measure of momentum going into my next match and boy howdy, this one is gonna be a doozy.”
Tirri takes a few puffs from his cigarette, letting the smoke billow out on the nippy winter weather before continuing.
“Anyone who has paid any attention for the last month or so knows that the next time I step into an UPRISING ring… I’m challenging for the SplatTV Multiuniversal title, going against a guy who is both my complete opposite AND disturbingly similar to me. Lash Donohue. The suicidal kid from 1Dub who nearly got himself killed winning the belt from Morgan Payne. We’ve been bantering back and forth in twitter for weeks so the battle lines are already more or less drawn in the sand. But despite all that bantering, I wanted to do this my way. See, I am a verbose guy who likes to talk. And no matter how hard I try I just can’t condense my thoughts and feelings to 280 characters. While twitter is good to pass the time and hype up a show, when it comes to talking trash, microblogging just doesn’t cut it.”
Tirri stands up and stretches, giving a quick chuckle before continuing.
“Microblogging. Hell, there’s a word that I don’t think anyone even uses anymore. But that’s how the whole deal was sold to me a decade ago. Anyway, I’m getting off track here. Point is Lashie-O, even if SplatTV would prefer things to be done on a platform like Twitter, I like doing things my way and so here we are.
Now, I mentioned earlier how you and I are both different and similar. Let me elaborate: You represent a lot of things I am not. You are young and obnoxious. Dress in loud clothing. Prefer hammerlocks to hammerpunches and aren’t shy to throw caution to the wind to win. You meme around in twitter like it was 4chan and throw silly gifs on peoples faces. While I am old for a wrestler. Irritating and grating. Dress in black. Never trade a headbutt for a headlock or recklessly put my career on the line when not needed. I prefer verbal jabs to memes and only gif when I feel lazy. We are almost complete opposites. But there are similarities. More specifically Lashie-O, you remind me a LOT of myself when I was your age. I was brash to a point of being a douche-nozzle. Loved getting onto peoples faces and being a real stinking turd to get a rise out of them. And just like you, I had a world of potential in the ring. But my attitude held me back for years and years.”
The big man starts walking down his backyard, talking as he paces the frosty lawn.
“And that Lashie-O is something you don’t seem to get. You are way too confrontational. Try to be way too clever for your own good. Unless you get a thorough attitude adjustment, you’ll end up just like me. A bitter asshole who never realized his potential. And yes I know you got belts out the ass but having peaked in your early 20’s isn’t something worth mentioning either. Even if you do what you said you would and go out in a blaze of glory in your mid-twenties. Which if you ask me, is just a stupid as hell claim to make. You’ve pedaled and backpedaled like a dutchman in a storm whenever I’ve managed to jab you at a spot you didn’t expect and right now Lashie-O? Right now I don’t even know which part of your presentation is just schtick and which is true. Are you a masochist looking to get off on pain? A death seeker looking to Cobain yourself into historybooks? Or just a messed up kid in a sea of messed up kids throwing everything and anything onto the wall in the hopes of something sticking.
Don’t get me wrong Lashie-O, it’s okay to still be trying to find yourself when you’re in your early twenties. Hell, most people still are. But what separates you from most people is the fact that you’re in the publics eye non-stop. Everything you say and do will be seen and judged by your peers, your superiors and your audience. And what you are presenting is an image of a flighty youngster unsure of what or who he is. Sure you put up a brave front, brag with almost-credible bluster. But I can see right through you. Hell, you admitted it yourself. “You have seen basically my joker card alone, and you are hedging your bets offa it” was the quote I believe. Bu that’s where you’re mistaken Lashie-O. I’m not. I see beyond the veil. I see deeper than the surface. And while you ARE undoubtedly a great inring-perfomer as proven by the MU title on your waist… You’re still an inexperienced kid who’s managed to ride out sheer potential and stubborn tenacity to success. But that ends in Revolution 7”
Tirri stops and pulls something out of the ground. It’s a ladder. He sets its up in a particular way and leans against it.
“Experience is something you can’t buy or be born with Lashie-O. It’s something you can only learn over years and years. You got all the tools needed to be a major megastar in this business. But it will take years and years and a lot of falling flat on your ass for you to learn to utilize them to their full extent. That is my trump card in this match. This match that favors you in so many ways. You are coming in as the Champion, riding high on momentum from your win over Morgan. The matchtype profits those who are quick on their feet and can bounce around with agility. So if I was the type who bets on his own matches, I’d probably be hedging my bets by putting my money on you. Probably. But see the thing is Lashie-O… This ain’t my first Rodeo.”
The Big Finn makes his way up the ladder, sitting down crosslegged on the top. It only took him a few steps to get to the top due to his height and once he adjusts himself to a comfortable position, he points behind him. Plastered on a wall is a picture of a younger Tirri perched on top of a ladder with a golden titlebelt on each hand. Yes, that picture. The view lingers on it for a while before returning to Tirri who had lit up a new cigarette and let it hang loosely from the corner of his mouth.
“That? That right there is me. Sure, that picture was taken long ago in a place far from here. But it’s still me. I’m not a stranger to ladders. And while I’ve spent most of my life riding fast on the highway to hell, this time the Stairway to Heaven is my path. See Lashie-O, you are too young to truly appreciate what the Multiuniversal title represents. The opportunities and the responsibilities. Back in the day, when wrestling was men in trunks beating the crap out of each other with the crowd popping like crazy for something like a dropkick… There was a title like the MU title. A title that was considered the greatest prize in all of professional wrestling. A true world title. A title that the champion traveled around the globe to defend. To take on deserving challengers from promotion to promotion. And the man who carried that belt was not just the face of his home territory. Or just the company he represented. No. He was the face of the entire business. Traveling from Memphis to Dallas to Minnesota to Calgary to Edmonton to Mexico City to Los Angeles to Tokyo to Beijing to Moscow to Berlin to London to Paris to New York and all the way back to Memphis. Representing the business, the company, his home territory and in some cases even his country.
And that is the potential that the Multiuniversal title holds. To be recognized as the true top prize in this business. A prize that defines not just it’s holder but the places it’s been defended. The Multiuniversal title has the potential to be THE main attraction. The kinda championship that once defended in a territory, that territory will forever remember the day the best in the world came to test his mettle. And that is why I will take the belt from you. Because you aren’t the man to fully realize the potential that championship holds. You are talented and charismatic. But you lack the experience and the business sense to truly elevate the SplatTV Multiuniversal title to a level it deserves to be in. Don’t get me wrong, you have the tools for it. So maybe some day. Once you’ve gotten more years and more life experience under your belt you’ll be ready to pick up where you left off at Revolution 7 on March 6th. But as you are, the belt will suffer as long as it remains on your waist”
Tirri stands up on the ladder, mimicking the pose on the image behind him for a moment before sitting back down.
“I have the tools I need to win Lashie-O. I am bigger than you. I am stronger than you. Your hope of victory lies in hitting and running. But that strategy won’t be enough. I will inevitably stop you. I will inevitably grab you, ground you and pound you. You get off on pain, that much has been made painfully obvious with the dozens of times you’ve thrown the “hello hello hello”-gif at my face. But there is such thing as too much of a good thing. So eventually you will go down and STAY down. Hell, judging by your sheer stubbornness you showed in the match with Payne.. I might have to pound ya till your dear disco darling won’t even recognize you. And I sincerely hope you understand whats good for you and yield before I have to do something irreversible. I tweeted that I have to beat you for the belt to save Mrs. Donohue from a closed casket funeral… and now I’m starting to wonder if putting you in one is the only way to keep you down.
I guess I’ll find out. Bottom line is Lashie-O, you’re coming to my yard on March 6th. You won the belt on your home turf with OneDub. Now you’re riding into unknown territory. Reno is my home. The Silver State Ballroom is my fortress. UPRISING is my domain. And the ring that exists in the middle of all those? That is where I lay down the law. Only one man has beat me here Lashie-O, and when I say you are not on the level of Luther Thunder… I am not selling you short. That is just a fact of life that would be proven ten times outta ten should you test it against him. But he is an absent master. Seated in his Ivory Tower ruling over the Revolution. While I am the sheriff. I am the judge. The Jury. The executioner. And you Lash Donohue, are trespassing.”
Taking a few deep drags from the cigarette, Tirri leans forward, precariously balancing himself on the ladder as he launches onto the final part of his promo.
“Once the dust settles at Revolution 7 on March 6th… SplatTV will have a new face to plaster on their posters. The Multiuniversal title will have a champion who has the ability to take the title to places it has never reached before. Lash Donohue, at Revolution 7 your reign will end. And like Icarus who flew too close to the sun, you will plummet from your heights. You will be consumed by your hubris and find yourself grounded. Lash Donohue.. My name is Don Tirri. And I will climb the Stairway to Heaven and claim that title. And in the end? I will look down on you, offer my hand for a shake and say four words that you should take to heart”
He extends his hand to the camera while using his left to flick the cigarette at the lens and delivers the last line with a confident grin on his face.
“Thank you, come again.”