Post by J on Dec 18, 2020 14:39:29 GMT -5
//Off Camera//
“Hard Clog Life”
Holiday Season 2006
Amsterdam’s Red Light District
Netherlands, Europe
“DONDER!”
I hear it, the gravelly roar of the manager. Well assistant manager Mr. DeJong. Well..not a real manager, he is the assistant manager to the club I bounce the door at. I take my time, he can wait a couple moments, a few puffs of the cigarette. Glaring down the street. Chilly, damn near deserted. People are at home with their families, and I’m standing here. Guarding the door, the cerberus to the underworld, yet the only customers we get who need a piece of ass that ain’t christmas ham..are the saddest sacks of shits.
”DONNNNN-DEEEEEEEEERR!”~
Yup, sounds about ripe to me, squeal piggy squeal. Flicking the cigarette out to the alley I grab a palmful of mints and a toothpick from behind my ear. Flicking it about. Just gives my tongue something to do and well, shuts me up I guess.
Walking on in I see the flashing strobe lights, hear the horribly mish-mash of techno, dance, trance, whatever the hell it is with odd rock classics here and there. You could play twinkle twinkle little star and if we had a bird rubbing herself on a pole, you could bet some poor asshole would be thumping his trouser snake to that.
“Here I am Nigel. Sorry couldn’t hear you first. You know the music’s kinda loud and I got this thing in my inner ear and..”
He was having none of it. His jowls flailing like a fleshbag in distress.
“Cut the shit Donder! I didn’t hire you here to talk my ear off, I bark, you bite. That’s the deal.”
Fuck you Nigel, you barely pay me at all, to be honest the reason you hired me is because no one else was desperate enough to work in a shithole like your “establishment for the adult gentlemen”. Of course I didn’t say that out loud, see that’s what the toothpick was for.
I watch as Nigel’s face frowns, he turns into a wrinkled prune an old and moldy prune at that.. He sniffed the air and those tiny hog eyes glared at me.
“You weren’t out smoking again, where you Donder?!”
What does he think he can smell, this place is drenched in sweat, unwashed interior and a hint of mold.
“Oh not, me. You know I don’t smoke. Not since you told me to stop doing that.”
I chew up those mints in rapid succession,and my jaws could grind out damn a damn diamond if I wanted with my pearly whites.
“Don’t give me that shit Donder. I can smell those cigarettes from here!”
Surprised you can even see this far without your glasses, you old out of shape fat fuck. Look at you. Your hairline got higher than you ever will in life. An assistant manager in a low-end strip club, yet you are acting like some sort of a God.
Sadly in my position in the food chain, Nigel DeJong, was God. Or as close as I could ever get to meeting one. There was someone higher, someone I never saw, someone who I never even heard of referred to anything but “him”. Probably some shrewd businessman or a politician looking to wash up his bribes, maybe get some free titjobs,blowjobs,footjobs..whatever the fuck useless assholes in suits get off on. Luckily I’ll never be one of them. Leatherjacket, jeans and boots. That’s all I’ll ever need.
“What you want, boss? I can’t leave the door unintended for long.”
Any excuse to get the hell out of here. Every second here ages me by a year it seems.
“Toilet’s backed up again.. Go unclog it.”
Oh you’ve gotta be kidding.
“You gotta be shitting me Nige..”
“Assistant Manager. DeJong to you Donder, and if I was I sure wouldn’t do it since the men’s room isn’t functional at this time! Now go unclog that bog before I shove my clog up your arse!”
Look at you with the butchered limericks.
“..you know clog and arse don’t rhyme right?”
“OUT DONDER OUTTTTTTTTTTT!”~
“Yeah Yeah I’m going..”
Sheesh, some people just have no sense of humor. Luckily I’ll never end up like that.
So there I was, holiday festivus season ho-ho-ho and all that jazz, instead I was up to my elbows in a clogged up toilet because the cheap ass bargain plunger snapped.
Stuck in shit detail durng Christmas.
“Dude, out of the way!”
“Bro I was just cleaning that.”
“OUT OF MY WAY, NOW!”
Sounds of regurgitation, rain of vomit..
That was it, someone had to pay for the cleanup for my coat.
“Sorry buddy..I couldn’t hold it longer..”
“Oh it’s okay bro..so you ever met my pal Kyle?”
“Kyle who?”
“Kyle the bathroom tile.”
*CRACK*
*SMASH*
*CRUNCH*
Some relaxing moments of stress release later. And a whole lot more stable flush of cash income to my already dwindled out finances. I almost felt like a human again.
“Hey L..”
That voice.
“Jeesh, what’t that smell?”
“Oh sorry Candy, it’s me..some fucker threw up on my coat and it kinda sticks to leather..”
“Oh you poor baby..I could wash it for you after my shift if you want. I mean if you got a little something something for a girl in need. Some snow to go, you know?”
She was never the smartest of the bunch.
“A vial for the snow princess..coming right up.”
She snuck it away somewhere in that scandalous outfit, never figured out where. No matter how much I tried thinking. A peck on the cheek, fondle down the front of my pants.
“Thanks, see you after the shift?”
“Uh, yeah sure..”
“I’m gonna make your Christmas big boy..”
Wow, guess Christmas isn’t total shit after all.
***
Reno Nevada, Modern Time
Esme furrowed her brow as she looked across to her husband. Sitting there, lost in thought. She often wondered what went through his mind when he zoned out like this; it was a guy thing, she suspected. Deep down, she used to fear he was thinking about other women, but that was just silly right? “Luthie?” she asked.
Luther snapped back to reality. “Yes? Did I doze off?”
“You just looked like you were in another world. Are you feeling okay? You have a huge match tomorrow, you’re not getting sick or anything?”
He shook his head, smiling a bit. For all the Candy’s Suzies and Cameron’s in the world..none of them worried about him like Esme only could.
“No, I was just kinda stuck on memory lane, wondering just how far I’ve come.”
Sher arched a brow.
“Yeah? How far?”
He shook his head and let out a long breath.
“Oh fourteen years give or take..life was such shit then. If I would have known how good it was gonna get. I would have done a better job so I could treat you like the queen you are, get you a castle you deserve and drown you in riches instead of..”
He spreads his arm to gather the room they were in.
“This dump in the desert. It’s Christmas soon though, after this match. I’m thinking we should do something festive, something good for people..besides you know we have an anniversary coming and all..”
“That’s a nice idea. But please don’t buy me a castle. Those stone halls would get mighty draughty. Pus can you imagine the Christmas decorations? You’d need to by tinsel by the truckload!”
He smiled sweetly.
“Anything for you my love. I’ve never been much into Christmas before I met you, I know it’s supposed to be a celebration for the family and such and while I don’t mind the food I love watching you cook it..I think you are the perfect Mrs. Claus and this year. If I’m not completely wrecked by Marou, we should go the extra mile with the gifts, food and such..times are tough for people and if we can have them forget it and appreciate what they have more, because you know..you and me we came from rather humble beginnings and look all we’ve gotten since. We’ve been blessed Esmeralda and I am thankful for everything I have but sometimes I wonder..”
He pauses for a moment, She stands up walking to him, sits on his lap and turns his face up to her.
“..about what?”
He gulps.
“Well IF I make it through the finals. I was thinking of reaching out to the family. Invite them all over to see my match. My chance to make it big. Not just to rub it in their faces how good I am but to..you know..”
He sighed.
“To prove that I am still worth a damn.”
She pinched his cheek.
“Quit that right now, I think that’s an adorable idea. Families should stick together and if they do show up..would you invite your brother too?”
The estranged younger brother, middle child of the trio of Children, Tara the scion and the only girl of the children..could have been the most successful one but never held the big one..Nathan the second born, middle child and the resident oddball in the family, which with the Thunders said A LOT. Also sadly currently the estranged brother..and Luther, the eldest, the protector, the role model and self proclaimed success story in the whole lineage. Greatest second generation Dutch Wrestler since..well ever since his father never even held a championship to be honest!
“Yeah, even him I suppose.”
She purred a bit pulling his face closer.
“..then I suppose there is no harm in rubbing it in their faces a LITTLE bit is there? You know he just had a title shot over there..”
“..and fucked it up, I know.”
She gasps mocking surprise.
“Luther Marcellus Thunder, I thought you didn’t care!?”
“I don’t” he snorts.
..
“But how could I not hear about him choking. Lil’ brother is a headcase, garbage wrestler and a habitual fuckup.. I’m glad I am the one happy one in the family.”
She ruffles his hair.
“You better be..or you won’t be getting any presents this year.”
“What more could I ever want than you in my life?”
He steals a kiss from her as she ponders.
“Well since YOU have all you wanted..could you get me something I want?”
“Like what?”
“Like the UPRISING title.
He gulped.
“Esme I..I mean I’m in the Semifinals but there’s still two matches to go..ask for something simpler. World peace, moon and the stars? I’ll have them up by your window before dawn but that championship.. The competition is tough.”
She leans in and whispers.
“Promise me that you will do your best then.”
“I promise.”
..and in the end, what more could anyone, ever do?