Post by fullmetal on Jul 21, 2021 1:29:58 GMT -5
RP for UPRISING, Revolution #15 (July 24 2021) vs Sister-Matic Destruction (Camilla & Isabella Pezzini)
BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE: JIRITSU & PyreBird
"A is for Appeal"
MATCH PROMO SECTION___________
Fade in to...the White House Press Room??
Wait, not the White House Press Room, but a room adorned to resemble it, all the drapery in red-white-and-black of course, and all the USA flags, seals, iconography, insignia, etc, actually BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE flags/banners/etc.
Dressed in smart black business suits with black button-shirts and red neckties are BCWW members PyreBird and JIRITSU, lovingly and colloquially known as "PB & J", with JIRITSU still in their full-face mask; JIRITSU is wearing black full gloves while PyreBird is wearing red ones.
PyreBird steps up to a red-and-silver-trimmed black lectern with an adjustable microphone.
PyreBird: (as "officially" as possible) "Ladies, gentlemen, boths, and neithers, of the UPRISING fanbase, JIRITSU and I have gathered here at this time to delivered a loosely-prepared statement regarding our upcoming tag team match against the Pezzini Sisters, also known as 'Sister-Matic Destruction'. As I cannot be trusted to deliver said loosely-prepared statement and keep a straight face while doing so, my teammate, who happens to have the added benefit of regularly wearing a mask that conceals their entire face, will be the one to deliver our promotional remarks for this upcoming match. Introducing: BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE co-leader, JIRITSU." (a beat) "Do keep in mind that as they are normally translating from Japanese, the actual statement
PB steps aside while J wordlessly steps up to the lectern and adjusts the microphone, before lightly clearing their throat, quickly looking at PyreBird (who responds with a toothy grin and a double thumbs-up) before looking back at the statement on the podium, then forward at the camera.
JIRITSU: "This upcoming Friday, July 24th, PyreBird and I will be facing the tag team of Sister-Matic Destruction. I have been informed that this is wordplay of the term 'systematic' destruction, and rest assured, I did giggle for several seconds in appreciation upon learning of this--" (J turns to PB) "I did not write that last part, and additionally, I must correct you that I merely chuckled for 2 seconds." (PB shrugs with a scrunchy-mouthed smile, stifling her own snickering) "I will have words with whoever wrote that." (J turns to the camera again) "When we enter the arena this Friday, we will not be in a good mood, because despite definitively defeating The Hive before Solstice, The Hive was simply given a Tag Team Championship match against Swine Flew, Regan Voorhees and our own teammate Kalinda Kriegsdottir."
PyreBird: (from the side) "YOU don't know what we would've done in a match where we were pitted against our own teammate, but we never got the chance to find out, because the team who WON didn't get the match and the team who LOST did."
JIRITSU: (continuing, unflapped) "We will not be arriving in a mood for fun and games, as we did when we musically accompanied Swine Flew's entrance, we will be arriving with one -- excuse me, THREE -- objectives in mind. You might already know what those are, so I will save them for the end."
PyreBird: "For the big dramatic conclusion, naturally!"
JIRITSU: (a very noticeably pause of 2 seconds, before continuing) "We have noticed you, Pezzini Sisters. We have been paying attention. If this were a purely physical contest, you would not even be in MY weight class, let alone PyreBird's, but this is more than that, it is professional wrestling, the realm of fantastically improbable scenarios like a high-ranking cult figure being controlled by a game console controller that isn't even connected into a power source, so we already know that it's quite possible for two..." (J turns to PB) "What was the phrase?"
PyreBird: "Walking mannequins."
JIRITSU: (nodding slightly and turning back to the camera) "For two 'walking mannequins' to beat a submission expert with no regard for their own safety and a power lifter--"
PyreBird: (finishing) "Who can crush a watermelon with her thighs while also crushing a smaller one under each arm."
JIRITSU: (another pause, slightly longer than before, before continuing) "...Yes. However, we have noticed that the crowd seems to favor you two, that they seem to enjoy watching what you two are doing in the ring." (a beat as J leans in a noticeable amount) "We have also noticed what you two are doing when they're NOT paying attention. We have noticed, and we do not care, except for one crucial difference: we do not pretend and pander. We do not care whether the UPRISING fans cheer for us--"
PyreBird: "But we won't turn it down when they do!" (a super pandering big grin and a double thumbs-up)
J very loudly clears their throat and PB quickly snaps back to attention.
JIRITSU: "Without regard for what the fans may think about our methods, our actions, we will go into that arena, we will step into that ring, and we will take out our righteous indignation on the two of you, Camilla and Isabella. We will not, as the phrase goes, 'play around with our food'."
PyreBird: "We MIGHT, a LITTLE bit."
JIRITSU: (clearing their throat again) "We will not let up, we will not relent."
PyreBird: "We will take you apart...SISTER-matically." (she grins again) "Get it?"
If J's mask were as expressive as Deadpool's, you would see murderous glaring as they turn to PB.
Another long pause before J clears their throat and turns back to the camera.
JIRITSU: "We will be arriving with the same three objectives we always have, and no amount of damage you inflict on us will stop us or deter us."
PyreBird: "I can deliver this part with a straight face, I promise!"
JIRITSU: (turning to PB) "Please do, Kallie."
PB steps to the podium as J steps to the side.
PyreBird: "We will CONQUER you, then we will CONSUME you, and once that's done, we will CONTROL you." (a beat) "You know, 'magic cannibalism zombie voodoo' rules."
JIRITSU: (correcting her) "We have been barred under penalty of contract termination, permanent depowerment and imprisonment from violating several 'magic cannibalism zombie voodoo' accords here in this realm. We will have to limit our 'control' to involuntary human puppetry."
PyreBird: "Twisting them into human pretzels is good enough for me!"
JIRITSU: "Very 'salty' human pretzels." (J turns to PB and whispers) "Did I use that wordplay correctly?"
PB nods and gives a huge closed-eyes grin with a big double-thumbs up as we fade out.
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SECTION_
Fade back in to the same room, but with regular lighting; the camera turned over to far stage left as LADERR The Unbalanced addresses PB & J, who are loosening their ties and unbuttoning the wrist buttons of their shirts.
LADERR: "KALLIE, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO STICK TO THE SCRIPT BETTER AND CONTROL YOUR IMPULSE."
PyreBird: "I promise I was holding it in this time!"
LADERR: "NOT ENOUGH. PERHAPS YOU NEED REINFORCEMENT OF THE FUNDAMENTALS...AGAINNNNN."
PyreBird: "Oh come on, that's boring!"
JIRITSU: "Perhaps, but also perhaps necessary."
PyreBird: "Oh come on, not you too!"
JIRITSU: "You are *almost* there, but you still need some conditioning to keep your giggling in and your focus on the matters at hand."
PyreBird: "What are you talking about? I'm ALWAYS focused on the matters at hand!"
JIRITSU: "In the ring, maybe. But when you are talking during the promotion, you do tend to meander a little bit and have to be led back to the matter."
PyreBird: "But doesn't that at least show I'm not some sort of text-to-speech robot?"
LADERR: "I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THE ROBOTS IN MY LOCAL PREFECTURE ALL EXHIBIT VERY JAZZY PERSONALITIES." (a beat) "MOSTLY DUE TO NEURAL PROCESSING ERRORS, BUT STILL!"
JIRITSU turns to LADERR quizically as we quick-fade from there to the glass-walled conference room from a couple promos ago.
The 5 members of BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE are seated around a large round conference table while Kalinda Kriegsdottir is standing off to the side, leaning cross-armed on a wall next to LADERR.
Kalinda raises an eyebrow towards the table while the sextet at the table are all leaning in pensively, hands steepled as they all look centerward at seemingly nothing.
Kalinda: "We have a problem here, folks. Do you know what that problem is?" (no response from them, as LADERR glows excitedly) "It's a problem of *perception*. 4 of you are masked -- out of necessity, of course -- and LADERR here does not possess the necessary physical articulation in order to execute over 95% of any movement necessary for a wrestling match if it were to return to active competition. But the fact that 4 of you are masked means we are faced with the age-old problem in this pro wrestling business: people are going to 'complain' that if we can't see your faces, we can't relate, or connect to you emotionally in a match."
JIRITSU: "We knew that when we joined you two and the others. We also made it very clear that it would be of the utmost importance to keep inquiries into our unmasked identities to a minimum at best, in order to keep the group from...'suffering'...as a result. I remind you that Gaunt was very clear on that condition."
Kalinda: "You don't need to remind me of what Leeland Gaunt asks of us on behalf of the others."
LADERR: "Kallie Hallaheim should consider herself fortunate that we did not require her to wear a mask."
PyreBird's eyes grow wide in surprise.
PyreBird: "WHOA, this must REALLY be serious if you're not talking in all-caps!"
LADERR: (returning to all-caps) "INDEED."
PyreBird: "Welp, spoke too soon." (a beat) "Look, I'm grateful you didn't need me to wear a mask, but I would've!"
JIRITSU: "You are unfamiliar to these crowds. They have some awareness of your training and background, as they do with Kalinda, including the commonalities, but there are no prior associations you have that would have made concealing your identity necessary, nor were there with Kalinda those 7 years ago. The only association you have is with us and with LADERR."
Kalinda: "In fact, you happen to be our biggest asset in that department, believe it or not."
LADERR: "THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WHEN YOU PROMO, KALLIE HALLAHEIM. THIS MEETING WOULD NOT BE NECESSARY OTHERWISE."
Kalinda: "And recording it for the sake of content wouldn't be necessary either, but here we are."
Kalinda turns towards the camera with what can only be described as a Dwight Shrute Glare.
The titanic CLIMAX raises his hand.
CLIMAX: (in his very deep voice) "V-TUBERSを使用した場合はどうなりますか?"
(Subtitle: "What if we used Digital Avatars, like those 'V-Tubers' which are suddenly popular now?")
Kalinda: "No V-Tubers!" (a beat) "...Yet." (another beat) "Let's call that Plan V."
CLIMAX nods with a thumbs-up as we fade out.
END.
BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE: JIRITSU & PyreBird
"A is for Appeal"
MATCH PROMO SECTION___________
Fade in to...the White House Press Room??
Wait, not the White House Press Room, but a room adorned to resemble it, all the drapery in red-white-and-black of course, and all the USA flags, seals, iconography, insignia, etc, actually BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE flags/banners/etc.
Dressed in smart black business suits with black button-shirts and red neckties are BCWW members PyreBird and JIRITSU, lovingly and colloquially known as "PB & J", with JIRITSU still in their full-face mask; JIRITSU is wearing black full gloves while PyreBird is wearing red ones.
PyreBird steps up to a red-and-silver-trimmed black lectern with an adjustable microphone.
PyreBird: (as "officially" as possible) "Ladies, gentlemen, boths, and neithers, of the UPRISING fanbase, JIRITSU and I have gathered here at this time to delivered a loosely-prepared statement regarding our upcoming tag team match against the Pezzini Sisters, also known as 'Sister-Matic Destruction'. As I cannot be trusted to deliver said loosely-prepared statement and keep a straight face while doing so, my teammate, who happens to have the added benefit of regularly wearing a mask that conceals their entire face, will be the one to deliver our promotional remarks for this upcoming match. Introducing: BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE co-leader, JIRITSU." (a beat) "Do keep in mind that as they are normally translating from Japanese, the actual statement
PB steps aside while J wordlessly steps up to the lectern and adjusts the microphone, before lightly clearing their throat, quickly looking at PyreBird (who responds with a toothy grin and a double thumbs-up) before looking back at the statement on the podium, then forward at the camera.
JIRITSU: "This upcoming Friday, July 24th, PyreBird and I will be facing the tag team of Sister-Matic Destruction. I have been informed that this is wordplay of the term 'systematic' destruction, and rest assured, I did giggle for several seconds in appreciation upon learning of this--" (J turns to PB) "I did not write that last part, and additionally, I must correct you that I merely chuckled for 2 seconds." (PB shrugs with a scrunchy-mouthed smile, stifling her own snickering) "I will have words with whoever wrote that." (J turns to the camera again) "When we enter the arena this Friday, we will not be in a good mood, because despite definitively defeating The Hive before Solstice, The Hive was simply given a Tag Team Championship match against Swine Flew, Regan Voorhees and our own teammate Kalinda Kriegsdottir."
PyreBird: (from the side) "YOU don't know what we would've done in a match where we were pitted against our own teammate, but we never got the chance to find out, because the team who WON didn't get the match and the team who LOST did."
JIRITSU: (continuing, unflapped) "We will not be arriving in a mood for fun and games, as we did when we musically accompanied Swine Flew's entrance, we will be arriving with one -- excuse me, THREE -- objectives in mind. You might already know what those are, so I will save them for the end."
PyreBird: "For the big dramatic conclusion, naturally!"
JIRITSU: (a very noticeably pause of 2 seconds, before continuing) "We have noticed you, Pezzini Sisters. We have been paying attention. If this were a purely physical contest, you would not even be in MY weight class, let alone PyreBird's, but this is more than that, it is professional wrestling, the realm of fantastically improbable scenarios like a high-ranking cult figure being controlled by a game console controller that isn't even connected into a power source, so we already know that it's quite possible for two..." (J turns to PB) "What was the phrase?"
PyreBird: "Walking mannequins."
JIRITSU: (nodding slightly and turning back to the camera) "For two 'walking mannequins' to beat a submission expert with no regard for their own safety and a power lifter--"
PyreBird: (finishing) "Who can crush a watermelon with her thighs while also crushing a smaller one under each arm."
JIRITSU: (another pause, slightly longer than before, before continuing) "...Yes. However, we have noticed that the crowd seems to favor you two, that they seem to enjoy watching what you two are doing in the ring." (a beat as J leans in a noticeable amount) "We have also noticed what you two are doing when they're NOT paying attention. We have noticed, and we do not care, except for one crucial difference: we do not pretend and pander. We do not care whether the UPRISING fans cheer for us--"
PyreBird: "But we won't turn it down when they do!" (a super pandering big grin and a double thumbs-up)
J very loudly clears their throat and PB quickly snaps back to attention.
JIRITSU: "Without regard for what the fans may think about our methods, our actions, we will go into that arena, we will step into that ring, and we will take out our righteous indignation on the two of you, Camilla and Isabella. We will not, as the phrase goes, 'play around with our food'."
PyreBird: "We MIGHT, a LITTLE bit."
JIRITSU: (clearing their throat again) "We will not let up, we will not relent."
PyreBird: "We will take you apart...SISTER-matically." (she grins again) "Get it?"
If J's mask were as expressive as Deadpool's, you would see murderous glaring as they turn to PB.
Another long pause before J clears their throat and turns back to the camera.
JIRITSU: "We will be arriving with the same three objectives we always have, and no amount of damage you inflict on us will stop us or deter us."
PyreBird: "I can deliver this part with a straight face, I promise!"
JIRITSU: (turning to PB) "Please do, Kallie."
PB steps to the podium as J steps to the side.
PyreBird: "We will CONQUER you, then we will CONSUME you, and once that's done, we will CONTROL you." (a beat) "You know, 'magic cannibalism zombie voodoo' rules."
JIRITSU: (correcting her) "We have been barred under penalty of contract termination, permanent depowerment and imprisonment from violating several 'magic cannibalism zombie voodoo' accords here in this realm. We will have to limit our 'control' to involuntary human puppetry."
PyreBird: "Twisting them into human pretzels is good enough for me!"
JIRITSU: "Very 'salty' human pretzels." (J turns to PB and whispers) "Did I use that wordplay correctly?"
PB nods and gives a huge closed-eyes grin with a big double-thumbs up as we fade out.
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SECTION_
Fade back in to the same room, but with regular lighting; the camera turned over to far stage left as LADERR The Unbalanced addresses PB & J, who are loosening their ties and unbuttoning the wrist buttons of their shirts.
LADERR: "KALLIE, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO STICK TO THE SCRIPT BETTER AND CONTROL YOUR IMPULSE."
PyreBird: "I promise I was holding it in this time!"
LADERR: "NOT ENOUGH. PERHAPS YOU NEED REINFORCEMENT OF THE FUNDAMENTALS...AGAINNNNN."
PyreBird: "Oh come on, that's boring!"
JIRITSU: "Perhaps, but also perhaps necessary."
PyreBird: "Oh come on, not you too!"
JIRITSU: "You are *almost* there, but you still need some conditioning to keep your giggling in and your focus on the matters at hand."
PyreBird: "What are you talking about? I'm ALWAYS focused on the matters at hand!"
JIRITSU: "In the ring, maybe. But when you are talking during the promotion, you do tend to meander a little bit and have to be led back to the matter."
PyreBird: "But doesn't that at least show I'm not some sort of text-to-speech robot?"
LADERR: "I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THE ROBOTS IN MY LOCAL PREFECTURE ALL EXHIBIT VERY JAZZY PERSONALITIES." (a beat) "MOSTLY DUE TO NEURAL PROCESSING ERRORS, BUT STILL!"
JIRITSU turns to LADERR quizically as we quick-fade from there to the glass-walled conference room from a couple promos ago.
The 5 members of BLACK CRUSADE WORLDWIDE are seated around a large round conference table while Kalinda Kriegsdottir is standing off to the side, leaning cross-armed on a wall next to LADERR.
Kalinda raises an eyebrow towards the table while the sextet at the table are all leaning in pensively, hands steepled as they all look centerward at seemingly nothing.
Kalinda: "We have a problem here, folks. Do you know what that problem is?" (no response from them, as LADERR glows excitedly) "It's a problem of *perception*. 4 of you are masked -- out of necessity, of course -- and LADERR here does not possess the necessary physical articulation in order to execute over 95% of any movement necessary for a wrestling match if it were to return to active competition. But the fact that 4 of you are masked means we are faced with the age-old problem in this pro wrestling business: people are going to 'complain' that if we can't see your faces, we can't relate, or connect to you emotionally in a match."
JIRITSU: "We knew that when we joined you two and the others. We also made it very clear that it would be of the utmost importance to keep inquiries into our unmasked identities to a minimum at best, in order to keep the group from...'suffering'...as a result. I remind you that Gaunt was very clear on that condition."
Kalinda: "You don't need to remind me of what Leeland Gaunt asks of us on behalf of the others."
LADERR: "Kallie Hallaheim should consider herself fortunate that we did not require her to wear a mask."
PyreBird's eyes grow wide in surprise.
PyreBird: "WHOA, this must REALLY be serious if you're not talking in all-caps!"
LADERR: (returning to all-caps) "INDEED."
PyreBird: "Welp, spoke too soon." (a beat) "Look, I'm grateful you didn't need me to wear a mask, but I would've!"
JIRITSU: "You are unfamiliar to these crowds. They have some awareness of your training and background, as they do with Kalinda, including the commonalities, but there are no prior associations you have that would have made concealing your identity necessary, nor were there with Kalinda those 7 years ago. The only association you have is with us and with LADERR."
Kalinda: "In fact, you happen to be our biggest asset in that department, believe it or not."
LADERR: "THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WHEN YOU PROMO, KALLIE HALLAHEIM. THIS MEETING WOULD NOT BE NECESSARY OTHERWISE."
Kalinda: "And recording it for the sake of content wouldn't be necessary either, but here we are."
Kalinda turns towards the camera with what can only be described as a Dwight Shrute Glare.
The titanic CLIMAX raises his hand.
CLIMAX: (in his very deep voice) "V-TUBERSを使用した場合はどうなりますか?"
(Subtitle: "What if we used Digital Avatars, like those 'V-Tubers' which are suddenly popular now?")
Kalinda: "No V-Tubers!" (a beat) "...Yet." (another beat) "Let's call that Plan V."
CLIMAX nods with a thumbs-up as we fade out.
END.